


but at least we're standing

by nahmooste



Category: Professional Wrestling, 新日本プロレス | New Japan Pro-Wrestling
Genre: Gen, M/M, forever gonna mark out over the gl, general angst and tension all around, i started writing this as soon as sse finished bc i am incapable of letting anything go, leave my forever young sons alone, was also crying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 13:35:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14113464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nahmooste/pseuds/nahmooste
Summary: He's not used to feeling like this; feeling alone. There are bridges to mend, but... is he too late?





	but at least we're standing

"Kenny-"

 

"Don't. Just, please... don't."

 

Kota huffs in frustration and tosses his head back to stare at the roof. He winces, grabs at his neck for a second before wiping the sweat from his face. He's squatting in front of Kenny, elbows on knees and eyes staring up at him, _begging_ the Canadian to just look at him.

 

Kenny's too busy and too focused on how his swollen fingers are clenched together. He wants to hit something with them- something solid, maybe, something that'll hurt. This kind of swallowing and all-consuming darkness threatening to pull him back under because of how ashamed he is. Of how _stupid_ he feels. _Absolutely fucking useless_ , and he wants to make himself hurt so that he can't think about anything except the pain.

 

He's not stupid. He's made a big mistake, pushed away the only two people to have his back when Kota didn't. He pushed Kota away and kept him away in order to... to what? Become friends with the two guys to get him into Bullet Club? Take over a faction and race his way to the top? _What a moron_... he had everything and didn't realise until it was too late.

 

His eye socket hurts. It might be fractured it hurts so much, but it's incomparable to the tightness he's feeling in his chest. Every part of his body is in pain.

 

"Kenny-kun... they're your brothers."

 

He knows Kota wants to say more; that he didn't want to hurt Kenny by hurting the Bucks, but Kenny knows that Kota wants to prove himself. Prove himself to management, to Matt and Nick (like he even has to). He _knows_ Kota.

 

"Do you think... do you think they're okay?"

 

_Do you think he's okay?_

 

Kota grabs Kenny's face between his hands, careful to avoid the swelling, and presses a kiss to his forehead. "I think you should go talk to them."

 

It's not what Kenny's expecting, but he'll take it. He sniffs and rubs his hands together, stands. Winces. Everything hurts.

 

"Do you want me to come with you?"

 

Kenny doesn't reply. He can't find it in himself to drag anymore people into this mess, even though it's only Kota and he's already well involved. When Kota grabs his hand... he doesn't let it go.

 

They walk together to where the Bucks' room is, silent but together, and Kenny takes a deep breath before knocking- only, when the sound of rushing blood in his ears subsides, he can hear voices. Cody's. Matt's. Talking. Laughing.

 

Kenny can feel it like a knife to his chest.

 

Shoulders slumped and eyes down, he goes to take a step back when there's a warmth pressing against his back. Kota's mouth next to his ear. He knows exactly what it means without being told. What he wants. And then he remembers- he remembers the kiss Cody stole, the way Kota was furious afterwards for _days_.

 

Kenny's fought a war he didn't want to, left it battered and bruised and filled with so much self loathing, and now he's about to start another.

 

There's not even a second between Kenny pushing through that door and his hands shoving at Cody's shoulder. Cody, who had been standing over Matt in the most predatory way, snakelike and hissing and satanic in every sense, and Kenny doesn't hesitate. He shoves Cody again and follows him, spits some kind of venom that has the fucker slithering out like the coward he is.

 

He'd heard laughing and talking, and he wasn't mistaken. But it was Cody's laugh. Nick's voice trying to calm the situation.

 

Silence fills the room, even with all the bodies that occupy it.

 

For a long second, Kenny can't bring himself to look at the Bucks. There's so much trepidation in his soul- they'll never forgive him. They'll never accept him. They'll never let him this close again. But this is something they need to hear him say, even if it's the last thing they'll listen to.

 

A hand presses into his back, gentle and caressing, and the words come out of Kenny's mouth before he can chicken out. "I have your back. I owe you that much, at least."


End file.
